Live at Changing Hands, December 7th: Presentation And Booksigning

Live at Changing Hands
7PM Wednesday, December 7th

PRESENTATION AND BOOKSIGNING
BARBARA MCNALLY
WOUNDED WARRIOR, WOUNDED WIFE

The author, physical therapist, and founder of the Barbara McNally Foundation shares her new book, a collection of true stories which provide a look into the chaotic and demanding lives of military spouses as they adjust to living with injured combat veterans. 

GET YOUR BOOK »
Get your copy of Wounded Warrior, Wounded Wife in-store at Changing Hands Phoenix or when you order here. We'll send you an email confirmation with more details (usually within 24 hours).

EVENT DETAILS
SEATING opens at 6:30pm.
CAN'T MAKE IT? If you'd like a signed book, please call or order online. We ship to most locations.

ABOUT THE BOOK
Imagine sending your significant other to war and receiving a life-shattering phone call telling you he's been badly injured. What would you do? Out of the 16.9 million caregivers in the United States, 5.6 million are caring for wounded veterans. Most of them are women, thrust into caretaker roles for their husbands who return home with amputated limbs, brain injuries, burns, and disabilities, with virtually no support or training. Post-traumatic stress tears their families apart, and these women must wrestle with huge, imposing questions: Does he still love me? Can I support our family? How will this affect my kids, my love life, my happiness? 

Wounded Warrior, Wounded Wife is a collection of true stories, inspired by the voices of women at SPA Day (Support, Purpose, Appreciation), a now nationwide event, created by the Barbara McNally Foundation for military wives to restore and rejuvenate while enjoying the fellowship of other wives struggling with the same challenges. The book builds on the strength of women like Congresswoman Tammy Duckworth whose heroic story lights a positive, healing path for the indomitable human spirit while informing the recent political discourse about improving the plight of veterans, with timely and significant insight into the realities of injured veterans, including health care, but also minority and gender issues. More »
 

5 Easy Ways for Caregivers to De-stress

The winter holidays are coming up fast – can you believe it?! And that means many of us are bracing for one of the most joyous and stressful times of year. This is especially true for those of you who are caregivers. Gift-buying and the associated financial strain, family gatherings with their trying dynamics, and coordinating multiple schedules around dozens of events is even more taxing if most of your energy goes toward helping an ill or injured loved-one. When your role within your family is that of a caregiver, ordinary stress is automatically doubled.

Reducing stress is tricky because each of us does it differently. There's no one-method-fits-all way to ease tension or minimize worry. But there are also a variety of techniques and ideas for de-stressing that aren't widely known and may appeal to some of you who are grappling with a heavy load. So with that in mind, here are some easy, effective ways to lessen your anxiety and tension as a caregiver.

1. Connect with other caregivers – in person or online
   Stress experienced in isolation feels so much more burdensome than stress that is shared and discussed with truly understanding listeners. Talking with individuals or communities that can sympathize with your struggles relieves pressure instantly. If you are a caregiver to a wounded warrior, reach out to the Military and Veteran Caregiver Network for online support or Operation Family Caregiver,which offers one-on-one counseling. Hearts of Valor provides support groups and connects families to one another, and the Elizabeth Dole Foundation offers community programs, fellowships, and grants to military caregivers. Caregivers to parents, children, and others can investigate the Family Caregiver Alliance, the Rosalynn Carter Institute for Caregiving, or the Caregiver Action Network.
    

2. Take a 10-minute walk
   Exercise always pops up as a great way to de-stress … but when you're a caregiver, the very idea of leaving the house for a 40-minute yoga class seems laughable. It's still true, though, that moving your body is incredibly beneficial. So start small: Let yourself take a 10-minute walk around the block every day. You'll boost your endorphins, give yourself a breather from your tasks, and allow some of your stress to float away.
    

3. Let go of the “shoulds”
   As a caregiver, you undoubtedly have a long list of things you must do each day, and an even longer list of things you “should” do. That second list lurks at the back of your mind, right? Scolding you silently for all the household chores and social niceties you've been shirking. Well, you've been shirking them because you have limited time and energy! You absolutely cannot expect yourself to do everything. Make a list of those “shoulds,” look at it long and hard, then crumple it up and throw it away. Release that guilt and feel its burden lift.
    

4. Try a pressure point trick
   I'm sure an hour-long massage is just as out-of-the-question as that yoga class … but you've definitely got time for this simple Naam Yoga technique. Psychologist Sharon Melnick, author of Success Under Stress, says applying pressure to a point between your second and third knuckles—near where your finger and hand meet—provides instant release. Slide your thumb down the side of your middle finger until you're just above the final joint. Push in, and breathe.
    

5. Write it out
   Connecting with others is undeniably effective at relieving stress, but it's not always possible. And it's not always what caregivers want or need. But keeping pressure and anxiety bottled up inside can have nasty consequences. So consider journaling. Every morning or evening is best, since keeping to a schedule makes it more likely that you'll commit to the process, but even writing about your feelings sporadically can help. Be honest, be brutal, write down the things that are weighing on you. The act of putting thoughts into words has helped people release stress for millennia. It may seem like a small act, but it can be incredibly beneficial to modern-day caregivers, too.

Let's keep this discussion going! What de-stressing techniques have worked for YOU? What would you add to this list? Any links or resources to share?

5 Reasons Why Gratitude is Essential to Good Health

I know, I know, gratitude posts are a dime a dozen this time of year! But there's good reason for that: Many of us whiz through our lives at top speed, never pausing to breathe, consider, and give thanks for everything that's going right. The Thanksgiving holiday gives our entire country access to a gigantic, shared pause button. And while I agree that all the “be grateful!” messages can get a little shout-y at times, I also think it's essential that we absorb them so we can tap into that positive, thankful mindset.

Still need convincing? Here are 5 compelling, mind-body reasons why gratitude can impact your health and well-being.

1.     Gratitude helps you sleep better

A recent article in “Dr. Oz the Good Life” cited a study done by Robert Emmons, Ph.D., a psychology professor at the University of California Davis. In it, people with neuromuscular disorders were asked to create gratitude journals, listing out the things they were thankful for each night. The study found that after just three weeks, they were able to sleep longer and felt more refreshed on waking. This practice will work for anyone since focusing on aspects of your life that inspire gratitude helps push away negative thoughts and worries that might disrupt your slumber.

2.     Gratitude makes you more resilient
Dr. Emmons also wrote a book titled Gratitude Works! And in it he says, "A grateful stance toward life is relatively immune to both fortune and misfortune." In other words, when we are attuned to the good in life and open to seeing positive aspects of negative situations, we're able to bounce back more quickly from loss and trauma.

3.     Gratitude improves your physical health in measurable ways
Sounds like a stretch, right? Studies cited in “Real Simple” magazine state that gratitude practices have been associated with improved kidney function, reduced blood-pressure, diminishedstress-hormone levels, and a stronger heart. Pretty amazing, if you ask me! Experts have stated that they believe the link between gratitude and good health is related to self-care. People who feel lucky and blessed tend to appreciate their health more than others, and that appreciation leads them to take better care of themselves. They avoid excesses and self-destructive behaviors, exercise more, and sleep longer.

4.     Gratitude boosts your self-esteem
Gratitude practices don't just help you appreciate your situation in life, they build your confidence. In 2014, the Journal of Applied Sport Psychology published a study stating that focusing on gratitude increased self-esteem in athletes. (Without self-confidence, athletes struggle to reach optimal performance.) Other studies cited in this Forbes article have shown that gratitude helps people stop making harmful social comparisons. When we're buoyed by thankfulness, we're able to appreciate other people’s accomplishments without getting bogged down by jealousy.

5.     Gratitude makes you less impulsive
In one study, researchers asked people to recall an event that made them feel grateful and write about it for five minutes. Afterwards, they exhibited better impulse control, especially around spending decisions. If you're grappling with money issues, force yourself to stop and think of something or someone you appreciate. Doing so will likely help you be more measured in your decisions. Good to know with all those Black Friday sales on the horizon!

Do you have gratitude practices that help you focus on the positive in your life? I'd love to hear about them in the comments!

Heroes in the Shadows: Family Caregivers Keep Our Nation Strong

My work at SPA Day events and on my book, Wounded Warrior, Wounded Wife, has connected me to some seriously tough, courageous, and admirably selfless caregivers. In my nine years working with the wives and spouses of wounded war veterans, I've come to admire the way these individuals persevere in the face of obstacles and meet struggle with strength. So I was pleased when I read Ann Brenoff's recent piece for the Huffington Post titled, “Why Family Caregivers Are This Nation’s Unsung Heroes.” Brenoff's husband experienced unexpected kidney issues earlier this year. She describes the day he collapsed as, “my inglorious initiation into the ranks of the nation’s 34 million unpaid family caregivers.”

And actually, her statistics are a little outdated. According to Caregiver.org, there are currently 43.5 MILLION unpaid family caregivers in the United States alone.

Just think about that for a moment. 43.5 million people spend a huge portion of their time and energy helping a sick or injured loved one with grooming, daily living, or medical tasks. 43.5 million people support the doctors, nurses, and therapists who treat their loved ones by keeping them on track, healthy, and protected. 43.5 million people do this difficult, taxing, complex work for free.

So I couldn't agree more with Brenoff's assessment that America's caregivers are our unsung heroes. She says, “We live in a system where the caregiving responsibilities that once fell squarely in the realm of nurses and professionals are now thrust on unwitting spouses and adult children with absolutely no consideration of the impact on their well-being ― or even the extent of their ability to perform these tasks.” My experiences interviewing wives for my book supports this statement. So many caregivers feel ill-equipped to take on these weighty responsibilities. But they do it anyway. Because they must, and because no one else will.

Brenoff also points out that many caregivers must quit their day jobs to help their loved ones full-time. Not only does this create an immediate financial burden for families, but also it means caregivers will have a tougher time come retirement. Less money goes into Social Security for them to withdraw at the end of their careers, and less goes into 401Ks and IRAs. Many of these families are already struggling to make ends meet, covering some medications and equipment out of pocket, battling with insurance companies or the VA over costs. Their financial futures can seem daunting and dim.

I created SPA Day to give military family caregivers a break. A little time away from their duties, and a breather from the endless tasks and stress of supporting a disabled spouse. But this event is kept intentionally small, and also tailored to the wives of wounded war veterans. We cannot offer solace to all 43.5 million American caregivers, much as I wish we could.

November is National Family Caregivers Month. I hope you'll take time this month to reach out to the caregivers you know. Offer them help with errands, give a free night of babysitting so they can relax a bit, remind them that you're always there to listen. Family caregivers bear a heavy burden. Anything we can do to lighten that load will be met with relieved gratitude. 

5 Overlooked Ways Women Show Their Strength

Women have long been labeled as the “weaker sex,” and are constantly battling against this laughable stereotype. Naturally, our weakness is determined in comparison to men’s apparent strength, which has somehow become the only yardstick for measuring perseverance and power. But strength is much more than heaving heavy objects or crushing corporate competition. If we expand our definition of strength, we quickly discover that women are as strong—if not stronger—than their male counterparts. Here are five feats of strength that women perform on the regular:

Read the rest on Buzzfeed...

What I've Learned After Launching My New Book – Blog Post

It's been an absolute whirlwind of activity since my new book, Wounded Warrior, Wounded Wife, was released on October 15! The book has already gotten a tremendously positive response from readers and reviewers alike, and I'm so grateful for everyone's support.

Even though it has only been a couple of weeks, I feel I've learned so much from this transformative process.

I've learned that the wives of wounded warriors are rallying behind this book. At a book signing at Bay Books in Coronado, I sold 100 copies in a single night! Many of them to spouses of veterans who live in my hometown and surrounding areas. It was humbling and inspiring to speak with them and hear their supportive words. Wounded Warrior, Wounded Wife is currently ranked #27 in Amazon's Military Families topic, and I'm thrilled to know that it is being read by the spouses of injured veterans all over the country.

I've learned that these stories resonate with caregivers of all kinds, not just spouses to injured veterans. Speaking with readers and reading their reviews on Amazon has taught me that all caregivers yearn to be recognized and praised for their tireless work. My book shares anecdotes and offers advice that will support everyone who engages in care-giving, from parents of special needs children to anyone looking after their own aging parents. It's gratifying to see that others are recognizing this, too!

I've learned that my passion for this topic and desire to help this community is just growing stronger. I won't lie: Researching and writing this book was a long and sometimes exhausting process. But now that it's out in the world, I find myself thoroughly invigorated. I'm excited to do even more to support wounded warriors' wives in every way that I can.

With that in mind, I'm looking forward to SPA Day on November 6 – an event that is now in its ninth year! – and connecting with another amazing group of women.

And I'm continuing to spread the word about Wounded Warrior, Wounded Wife through press appearances all over the country and a handful of in-person bookstore events. Take a peek below to see if I'll be visiting your hometown, and for a few nationally broadcast interviews you can tune into!

BARBARA MCNALLY PRESS AND BOOKSTORE APPEARANCES

Friday, November 4

11:00 p.m. EST
Westwood One Radio Network: “The Jim Bohannon Show”
(Nationally syndicated to 500 stations!)

Thursday, November 10

Around 8:30 a.m. EST
“Virginia This Morning,” Richmond, VA
WTVR-TV (CBS Affiliate)

3:30 p.m. CST
Wisconsin Public Radio, “Central Time” with Rob Ferrett and Veronica Rueckert
This show is nationally syndicated throughout the Midwest

6:30 p.m. EST
Fountain Bookstore, Richmond, VA
Book signing event! Hope to see you there!

Friday, November 11

Around 8:30 a.m. EST
“Great Day Washington,” Washington, D.C.
WUSA-TV (CBS Affiliate)

10:30 a.m. EST
Sirius XM Radio “The Maggie Linton Show”

5 Facts You Didn’t Know About Women in the Military

Remember back in 2013 when former Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta lifted the ban on women in frontline combat positions? It made major headlines and seemed like a huge breakthrough, right? But what we forgot back then—and tend to forget ongoing—is that women have ALWAYS played a major role in wars, combat, and military service. Ancient warrior women from cultures the world over fought alongside men. Celtic warriors like Boudicca and Grace O’Malley, along with more well-known historic figures including Helen of Troy, Joan of Arc, Lysistrata, and Cleopatra were all instrumental in planning and executing wars on behalf of their home nations. Here in America, however, women were relegated to non-combat roles from the Revolutionary War right up until 2013. So it makes sense that we’d be surprised when they were finally welcomed back to the front lines. And since women warriors are still overlooked much of the time, here are some fascinating facts about how women have contributed to—and been affected by—military service over the decades:

Read the full article on BuzzFeed...

SPA DAY! - Last Chance to Apply!

SUNDAY November 6th, 2016
10:00 A.M. TO 3:00 P.M.

A DAY TO HONOR & THANK OUR UNSUNG HEROES, CAREGIVERS OF WOUNDED WARRIORS.

Spa Day gives women the opportunity to enjoy being a woman, bond with other women going through similar transitions, focus on their own care, and refresh and recharge. Spa Day includes massages, swim & sauna, guest speakers and lunch by the pool. To register online and place your name in the drawing for a massage simply click here to submit your Name, Address, Phone Number and a brief message of your life as a caregiver & what you have found helpful to relax and rejuvenate amidst your challenges.

The drawing will be held October 18th and if chosen you will be informed by phone/email by October 21st! Location: Hotel Del Coronado 1500 Orange Ave. Coronado, CA 92118 Lunch will be provided.

ONLY 24 SPOTS AVAILABLE – FIRST TIME ATTENDEES ONLY RSVP By: October 17, 2016

Questions call: (858) 268-4432
SPONSORED BY: BarbaraMcNally Foundation AND Southern Caregiver Resource Center/Operation Family Caregiver

REST RELAX REJUVENATE

4 Misconceptions About Wounded Warriors’ Spouses … and How We Can Help

We’re less than a month away from Veteran’s Day, which means that our brave servicemen and women are getting slightly more attention, affection, and praise from the general public than usual. And that’s a good thing. The people who fight in our armed forces are everyday heroes. They deserve to be honored for their sacrifices and acknowledged for their courage, especially if they’ve returned from combat with life-altering wounds. Know who else deserves our admiration and applause?

The spouses of our wounded veterans. Many Americans will only think about military servicepeople on the holidays that honor them, or when news footage of war-torn countries flashes by. But how often do we think about the wives, husbands, and families that support our injured fighters? Not often enough. And when we do, we may land upon one of these common misconceptions:

Read the full article at Buzzfeed...

Book Launch and Reception October 20th: Bay Books, Coronado, CA

Please Join

Barbara McNally
at a
Launch & Reception for Her Newly Released Book

Thursday, October 20th

5:00 p.m. to 6:30 p.m.
 

Bay Books
1029 Orange Avenue, Coronado, CA 619-435-0070
 

Wine and appetizers will be served

Barbara’s proceeds to benefit Coronado Hospital Foundation

“Wounded Warrior, Wounded Wife provides much needed insight into the lives of our military heroes and their families. Through these stories we learn how we can begin to create a healing environment through caring, compassion, community support and love for one another.”

- Susan Stone, CEO Sharp Coronado Hospital