Meet Me on the Slopes: Reconnecting in Nature

Meet Me On the Slopes: Reconnecting in Nature 

When a soldier returns home wounded–grappling with PTS and plagued by nightmares–he may struggle to feel connected to his wife. Married couples who have been close for years, even decades, who are used to trading secrets and sharing life-altering experiences, suddenly feel like they are from different planets. Even like they’re living on different planets. The space seems vast, and the silence seems deafening.

Finding a way to reconnect is essential. Therapy and sharing, bonding over the struggles of a new way of life, and working through difficulties by talking them out are all helpful practices. But sometimes it takes something more–something unexpected and drastically different–to forge a new bond.

This was the case for Jane.

Jane met her husband Kyle while working as a park ranger at Vail mountain , Colorado. He was a big guy, bald and blue-eyed, with an appealingly athletic build and personality to match. Jane was an outdoorsy person herself, and they fell in love hiking in the summer and skiing in the winter together. They were engaged six months after they met and married six months later in October 1990. Kyle was in the Navy reserves then, doing his duty on weekends and two weeks a year. After they were married nearly 20 years, Kyle was put on active duty and was required to leave for longer periods. Eventually he was deployed overseas.

In Afghanistan, Kyle’s Humvee was hit by an IED explosion, and both of his legs had to be amputated. He was lucky to be medevaced out within an first hour or it could have been much worse. After bilateral amputations to the knees, he was fitted with new legs and had to go through intense physical therapy.

Once he was back on his feet, Jane thought their life together would be easier. She didn’t notice the aftershocks of PTS and traumatic brain injury until after Kyle was discharged and had been home for quite some time. He often got dizzy and had ringing in his ears; his eyes became light sensitive which forced him to wear dark glasses all the time; he was very distressed by noise and could not be around crowds. Jane believed they had a strong marriage – they had been married for over 20 years — but his injuries changed how they treated each other.

“We’re still very close and love each other very much,” she said. “But I feel I have to leave the room at times because of something he says or does.”

One of the changes that is most noticeable to Jane is Kyle’s temper. Whenever he became angry he had no filter when he spoke.

“He’s emotionally regressed,” Jane confided. “He’s not the man he used to be. Sometimes I feel like I’m dealing with a two-year-old throwing a temper tantrum.”

Jane found that her husband’s PTS took a psychological toll on her as well. She would get depressed because she couldn’t always do the things she wanted to do. What bothered her the most was having to make excuses to their friends and family for their absences.  Sometimes she would cope in unhealthy ways such as eating more or not going to the gym. Self-care can fall to the wayside when all of your time and energy get used up caring for someone else. It’s natural, but frustrating.

She still puts time, energy, and effort into her relationship with Kyle, though, and focuses on cultivating patience.

“When I was younger I was a bit of a hot head myself, but age has mellowed me, so I can go with the flow better in certain situations.”

Jane has taken it upon herself to study up on PTS to get a better understanding of what triggers Kyle’s outbursts. She also formulates strategies for heading it off by removing him from situations that cause him anxiety or stress.

Jane was grateful that she’d had the chance to travel when she was younger, because when her life changed and she was convinced her globe-trotting days were over, she felt content to stay home and care for her husband and grandkids. But just when Jane had resigned herself to letting go of traveling and adventures, Kyle told her about National Ability Center.

And in the blink of an eye, they were packing their  bags to go to Park City.

The National Ability Center provides rehabilitation sports training to severely wounded warriors and their wives. Jane was excited about this organization because although it was focused on helping her husband heal, she got to participate too.

Kyle’s instructors at the National Ability Center strapped him into a monoski and put him on Deer Valley’s bunny hill, while Jane skied along with him. She watched him open up and transform before her eyes. This program got him out of his shell and added a new dimension to their life through their shared love of the outdoors.

“Gliding through the snow on ‘wings of wood’ is the closest thing to flying,” Jane explains. “We felt a sense of thrill and joy soaring over the shining crystalline whiteness.”

The healing process is a journey that lasts a lifetime—for wounded warriors and their caregivers. The four days Jane spent with Kyle in Park city skiing and sharing meals with other Wounded Warriors and their wives was a turning point in both of their lives. They met skiing, and it was skiing that brought them back together again. Now these two are healing their wounded souls through sharing new positive experiences, and gently forcing a world that can feel small and suffocating to expand and unfold.

As a physical therapist working with patients in rehabilitation, I have seen how most patients can’t wait to get out into the great outdoors after being in a hospital for months. I’ve taken patients skiing, fishing, hiking and horseback riding, and have watched their eyes light up as they experience the world beyond the hospital room.

Sometimes I think the very best thing couples can do is run like hell — as fast and as far away as they can possibly go. Because there are circumstances in which a change of scenery can change their minds.  There are times when spending time away from the hospital, away from the city, away from the stress, can be just the balm their wounded soul needs to recover. And when you feel trapped in the stifling space of a home filled with angry outbursts, flashbacks, and night terrors, leaving home together can be the key to unlocking a whole new level of recovery and reconciliation.

Taking a running leap can, at times, gives you a better chance of learning to fly. Leaping together can help you reunite in flight.

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Honor the Sage Within Yourself

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“A wise woman wishes to be no one's enemy; a wise woman refuses to be anyone's victim.”

— Maya Angelou

 

When you hear the word “sage,” you might think first about the fragrant herb that’s a traditional part of the seasoning we enjoy for Thanksgiving dinners. Sage has one of the longest histories of any culinary or medicinal herb, and was used thousands of years ago in ancient Egyptian kitchens! 

 

But today, I want to focus on the other definition. The word sage also means “a profoundly wise person,” referring to someone who is wise through reflection and experience. When you give someone “sage advice,” you give them sound advice gained through your life reflections and experiences. Wisdom is something that we often confuse with intelligence. Both have to do with deep knowledge, but while intelligence frequently stems from study, wisdom can flow from sources other than books. In fact, it often does.

 

Having a sage within you isn’t defined by book learning. You don’t need any academic degrees to be a sage. And although we often associate wisdom with decades of life experience, having a sage within you isn’t limited by age. You don’t have to be old to be a sage. 

 

“Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you'll be criticized anyway.” 

–  Eleanor Roosevelt

 

In fact, one of the wisest women alive is remarkably young: Malala Yousafzai is the youngest person to win a Nobel Prize. In 2009—when she was just 11 years old—Malala wrote a blog post about living as a girl under Taliban occupation. She wrote passionately about her own desire to go to school, and how important she felt it was for all young girls in Pakistan to have the chance to learn. In 2012, a Taliban gunman shot Yousafzai as she rode home on a bus after taking an academic exam. She was punished for wanting girls to have access to education, targeted for her beliefs. Malala was only a teenager, but she listened to the sage within herself and spoke with courage about the importance of education for girls. 

 

Not all sages are battling for equal rights or embroiled in politics. Think of Elizabeth Gilbert, who wrote so eloquently about her emotional explorations in her book Eat, Pray, Love. Her willingness to share her personal journey inspired untold numbers of readers to make positive changes in their own lives. Think of Nellie Bly whose writings were instrumental in mental health. Think of Elizabeth Blackwell, first female Doctor who forced us to think differently about who could be a Dr., and renowned writer who forced us to think the Holocaust. 

 

All are sages in their own ways.

 

Sages possess wisdom in many different areas and express that wisdom in many different ways. But they are all brave, and they are all driven, and they are all eager to continue learning. About themselves and about their worlds.

 

“It is impossible to live without failing at something. Unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all—in which case, you fail by default.”

— J.K Rowling

 

So, how can you get in touch with the sage within yourself? How can you tap into her energy and use it to talk about the things that are important to YOU? Where is YOUR platform? And when you find it, will you USE it? Accessing this wisdom and bravery within yourself has nothing to do with status or money or degrees or job titles or power. It is about self-reflection, dedication, and a thirst for knowledge.

 

And sometimes that's what it takes: An overwhelming new role or drastic life change that forces you to look inward. Sometimes the sage only emerges when you need her wisdom most.

 

But sometimes you can summon your sage just by focusing on your goals, your aspirations, the difference you want to make in the world. Or even the difference you want to make within yourself. As this new year unfolds, I hope you'll find a way to tap your inner sage and revel in her unparalleled wisdom.

 

“What you do makes a difference. And you have to decide what kind of a difference you want to make."

– Jane Goodall

Happy New Year.. heading into 2019 on the Energy Bus

The Energy Bus

Happy New Year!

Starting my 2019 reading The Energy Bus by Jon Gordon. My daughter recommended.

I liked this book and would recommend it as well. The concepts in this book all speak to going after your life with passion and, yes, energy! Being motivated and passionate about your work and personal goals makes a big difference. The book also talks about getting the right people on your bus, not letting people drain the energy out of your team, leading with your heart, and loving your passengers. If you lead a team and you (or your team) needs an energy injection then you should give this book a read! Get on the bus! 

Memorable quotes from this book:

  “Every crisis offers an opportunity to grow stronger and wiser; to reach deep within and discover a better you that will create a better outcome”

  “Desire, vision, and focus help turn your bus in the right direction, but positive energy is necessary to take you where you want to go”

 “Your positive energy and vision must be greater than anyone’s and everyone’s negativity. Your certainty must be greater than everyone’s doubt”

 “Energy is the currency of personal and professional success today. If you don’t have it you can’t lead, inspire, or make a difference”

Some takeaways from this book:

1  Be passionate about anything you put your time into

2  Energy and enthusiasm affects culture and draws people

6 Travel Tips for Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone This Holiday Season

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I’m getting ready for another adventure. What I love about traveling is it gets me out of my routine, expands my world by helping me to meet new people, and to learn about new perspectives, different cultures and viewpoints. As Mark Twain says, “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness.”

UNBRIDLED tells my story of leaving behind the roles of wife, mother and physical therapist in order to explore parts of myself I never knew existed. Sometimes we don’t know we like a meal until we taste it. So with life, tasting another culture allows us to grow and learn.

There is something special about the smell of spicy jerk chicken, the sound of reggae music and the feel of plunging into the Jamaican ocean that we can’t get from a book.

Meeting Rastas, I learned first hand where Jamaicans are coming from and an understanding of their perspective.

Traveling also gives us opportunities to experience the unexpected — the novel aspects of life!

Wherever you go, near of far, just getting out of your routine will awaken your senses!

Here are 6 travel tips that I hope will help encourage you to get out of your comfort zone and explore:

1. What Fate and Fortune deliver is pretty much out of our control, but our attitude is ours to control and can strongly influence our experience. Appreciation and gratitude opens the heart, resentment and fear constrict it. Be mindful of your attitude when setting out on an adventure and try to keep your mental focus on statements like: “This is going to be fun” and “I am open to however my adventure unfolds.”

2. The best way to exercise your brain is to learn and the best way to exercise your soul is to laugh, especially when you’re laughing at yourself. So, if you face a challenge while on your journey, try to learn from it, and, more importantly, try to bring some levity to it.

3. If you’re single and hoping to find romance on your trip, my recommendation is to seek out what “turns you on,” and what you love, rather than looking to be loved. Love can be found in all the right places and sometimes the “wrong” ones. You may be surprised what letting go of this expectation may lead to!

4. Fear is our opponent and our opponent deserves to be respected. Be open minded and challenge yourself, but also know your limits. After all, traveling is supposed to be fun, not damaging.

5. Life is not a dress rehearsal. Be the actor and the audience, and play your parts to the fullest. Embrace your journey, lend a hand to your fellow travelers and enjoy the present moment and all of the new, exciting and wonderful things around you: the sights, the smells, the sounds, the energy.

6. Don’t just be, do. Just don’t do, be. Try to balance doing (activities, tours, sight-seeing) and being (taking in a view, relaxing in a cafe, sleeping in). I recently met a 90-year-old lady who was sipping on a Jamaican Rum punch, and she said, “Honey, I can’t do anymore, so i just be.” Another couple told me they’ve never sat and enjoyed a cocktail because they’re always too busy exploring. I like finding a balance between the two!

I hope my upcoming trip will be a fun balancing act of “being” and “doing,” from skiing to sipping hot toddies while watching sunsets with the locals ! As St. Augustine says, “The world is a book and those who don’t travel only read one page.”

So, this holiday season, order UNBRIDLED (or pick it up at Costco) as a gift to yourself and others. Experience armchair travel! After reading UNBRIDLED,you’ll want to go on an adventure of your own and I’d love to hear about it.

 

 

Ageless Archetypes

“As much as I loathe this aging thing, I'm beginning to recognize that I am now a healthier person in terms of self-worth and knowing who I am and where I fit in the world. That's been a good trade-off for the wrinkles.”

~ Patty Duke

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It’s astonishing how strong is our instinct to pick a favorite archetype and ignore the rest. Especially since we associate Lover, Mother, and Sage in particular with specific ages and phases of life. Somehow the Warrior transcends, since most of us know we can fight ferociously for our beliefs at any age. But how can a woman who is only 17 relate to the Mother? How can a woman in her eighties connect with the Lover? How can a woman who just celebrated her 37th birthday call herself a Sage?

Here’s a gentle reminder that all four archetypes are present in ALL of us at all times. One may dominate for a while, but the others are still there, waiting to be called forth. And the key to a fulfilled, rich, rewarding life is to find ways to integrate all four into your core identity.

Lover and Sage: Vitality Versus Wisdom

You’ll see as you make your way through this book that these essential aspects should not always be interpreted literally. Yes, the Lover embodies physical attraction, lust, and sensuality … but that’s not all. She is also boldness, joy, and passion in any form, including artistic, intellectual, and scientific. The Sage represents wisdom, experience, and hard-won knowledge … but that’s not all. She is also intuition, savvy, and intelligence in any form, including emotional, mathematical, and cultural.

Yet these two can war within us. When we are young, we fight the idea that we have an old, wise person within us. And when we are old, we often feel embarrassed when our sensual urges begin to surface, as if the youthful aspects of our true selves have died off.

But the Lover and the Sage are actually perfect partners. Age is relative and flexible. How old we are is more solidly connected to how we’ve lived our lives than it is tethered to how many birthdays we’ve racked up. And when we work to integrate the Lover and the Sage, we embrace this spectrum with open arms.

When we are young and feel directly and naturally connected to the Lover, we can invite the Sage to express herself through us. Acknowledge that we are, in fact, aging and that the process is a natural, valuable, beautiful one. As we grow and learn, we distill and refine our personalities. We become more solid in ourselves, more uniquely individual. Tempting as it is to cling to youth, aging is a gift, an experience that enables us to become more interesting, multi-faceted, whole people. We are not wearing our bodies out, we are learning to stand tall in our true selves.

When we are old and feel directly and naturally connected to the Sage, we can invite the Lover to express herself through us. We can do our best to allow youthful hope, enthusiasm, and excitement into our lives, and resist the urge to default to cynicism or weariness. We can express our sexuality freely and in ways that energize us, shunning the idea that passion has an expiration date. Our bodies may feel old, but our souls are still young. We now have the life experience and wisdom to know when it makes sense to stick to tradition and formality, but we don’t quash urges to rebel or express our views. When those urges rise up, we accept and respect them. When life issues an invitation to be bold and loud and lustful, we accept it gladly. We are not failing to “act our age,” we are honoring the vibrant, vital aspects of our holistic selves.

Think of Queen Cleopatra; She is, undeniably, a venerable Warrior first and foremost. She overthrew all other claimants to the Egyptian throne, and did so in a time when it was quite common for siblings to marry and share power. But she was a legendary Lover as well, and knew how to leverage her innate sensuality to get exactly what she wanted. One of her most famous exploits involves her shrewd courting of Julius Caesar; Apparently, she wrapped herself in a rug and paid servants to smuggle her into Caesar’s sleeping quarters. There, she pled her case to him, convincing him to support her in the raging Egyptian civil war. And while she did this through outright seduction, can you see how the Sage was present, too? Cleopatra was wise enough to know that demanding an audience with Caesar wouldn’t be as effective as insinuating herself into his presence. She had experienced enough of life to understand that asserting herself as his equal would backfire and that, as a woman, she had a better shot at getting what she needed by playing up her feminine wiles. When you add in her Mothering desire to protect her mother country at any cost, Egypt, it’s safe to say that Cleopatra lived out all four archetypes in integrated harmony.

Mother and Sage: Compassion Meets Experience

It’s so easy to take the Mother literally; to consign her to bearing and rearing children and nothing else. And, of course, these activities are some of the most rewarding and fulfilling that we women can experience! But the Mother can use her caretaker energies to show love for friends, students, family members, even strangers. The Mother represents the nurturing, healing, empathetic side of a woman, and that side has many facets and many expressions.

Mother and Sage may seem like a more natural partnership than Lover and Sage, and there are some organic compatibilities there, to be sure. Both Mother and Sage tend to radiate serenity, gentle authority, and sympathy. But while the Mother is often selfless and focused on protecting the weak and vulnerable, the Sage may turn her energies inward. Exploring spirituality and accumulating wisdom—both Sage activities—are often done solo, and involve highly individual soul-searching. There’s also an age-based hang-up here; Mothers are generally younger women, and fertile. Sages are older and beyond their childbearing years. It can be challenging to find a place where those two stages of life overlap.

So how do we integrate these two successfully?

When we feel ourselves retreating into solitary, Sage-like contemplation, we call on the Mother to remind us that nothing great was ever kept secret. We transform studying alone or praying in silence into sharing, questioning, and exploring. And then we use what we’ve learned to help, support, and enlighten others.

When we feel ourselves giving to others in a Mother-like way until we’re overextended and depleted, we call on the Sage to help us create healthy boundaries. We remember that to honor ourselves, we must care for ourselves, and that means knowing when to say no, back off, and guard our energy. And then we recharge in our own time, making a wise, considered plan to avoid overextension in the future.

And when we feel weathered and worn and decidedly infertile, we remember that fertility can manifest in many ways. We may have a fertile imagination, a fertile social life, or a fertile mind as we enter our Sage phase.

And when we feel filled with the vibrant robustness of vital adulthood, we remember that moving toward old age means accumulating experience, insight, and wisdom. And that process is a tremendous blessing.

Biologist and conservationist Rachel Carson was a compassionate Mother, through and through. She was one of the first people to recognize that human activities were injuring and decimating the natural world, and she fought to protect the Earth. Her book Silent Spring is considered to be the spark that ignited the environmentalist movement of the 1960s, and without her fierce desire to nurture and care for our planet, this work might never have been published.

But Carson’s strong secondary archetype is the Sage. She was a trained and dedicated scientist who both valued research and sought to translate hard data into actionable recommendations. She was thoughtful and contemplative, and it was her intuition that led her to investigate the effects that the pesticide DDT was having on American wildlife. The Sage guided her to distill facts into wisdom, and the Mother fueled her instinct to protect our shared environment.

Rachel Carson never married, but tapped the Lover through her passionate dedication to her work and the creativity she employed in her eloquent writings. Silent Spring eventually led to the creation of the Environmental Protection Agency, but when it was released in 1962, Carson was brutally attacked in the press by chemical companies that wanted her work discredited. Calling on her inner Warrior, she fought back against these false claims and prevailed. Another great example of a woman who identifies strongly with two archetypes, but embodies them all!

Be a Lover of Life

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 “Happiness is not a matter of events; it depends upon the tides of the mind.” Unknown

Are you a lover of life?

What turns you on??

Being a lover of life to me is living in my senses, as opposed to my mind.  While being more sensual will make me a better lover, it will also make me more present, creative, and vibrant.

How do you wake up your senses? What do you taste, hear, touch, see and smell that brings the lover out in you?? Do you turn on your favorite music, wear your favorite scent and lingerie, pour a glass of champagne?

How do you enjoy life even in the mundane? Yes I agree it’s hard to always find joy in life and it takes practice, so we don’t let life beat us down and kill the lover within.

Our jobs, duties, obligations, finances and illness all can interfere, but I don’t want these parts of life to win. I want to BE HAPPY!
I allow myself f to turn off my judgmental mind, through scuba diving, dancing, a relaxing meal, stroll, and being grateful.  I attempt to experiences each moment totally.

No action is too small to ignite our senses. Pleasure is in our mind. That’s what I’ve learned from dance. It celebrates women’s sensual energy at every weight, age and height.  If we as women feel great about ourselves, it’s easier to enjoy sexual pleasures and every aspect of our lives. The art of the tease, whether eating an orange or stripping for my lover or dancing the salsa is to move deliberately and slowly. Instead of quickly devouring my orange in the morning, I turn the process into an anticipatory experience. When I approach life in this manner, even the most simple activities like writting or sipping coffee at an outdoor cafe take on a heightened level of pleasure and satisfaction.

Be creative. Life is short so enjoy the sensual pleasures of life!

Again, love to hear what turns you on, how you find joy in your life, being a lover of life!

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Vision Boards with Barbara McNally - 01/27/2019

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Want to write a book and having trouble organizing your story line? A Vision Board will help with this, as well as create your story! It literally is any sort of board on which you display images that represent whatever you want to be, do or have in your life.  Also known as dream boards, these simple devices are one of  the most valuable visualization tools available to you.  A Vision Board is a tool used to help clarify, concentrate and maintain focus on a specific life goal. The purpose of your Vision Board is to bring clarity to your desires and feelings, thus bringing your visions to life.

In this workshop, we will be creating Vision Boards to help focus on, and attract, the life you want. Participants will learn how to utilize powerful techniques in order to maximize success.

Create the highest, grandest vision possible for your life, because you become what you believe

Why Attend A Workshop?

1.     When groups gather, magical things happen.  The group energy can be truly exceptional.

2.     You are able to raise the level of your focused attention on your dream by being free from outside distractions. Where focused attention goes, energy flows!

3.     You have the opportunity to learn and reinforce important concepts in a shared space.

4.     There is nothing like sharing your dream with a group of like-minded folks. For any dream to come true, energetic support from a team can help to raise its vibration to the Universe.

5.     You get more energized about achieving your vision! More energy = more success.

6.     Most importantly… You go home with a Vision Board! No more procrastination. No more delay in getting one done because you will be given time to work on a Vision Board during the workshop.

I would visualize things coming to me. It would just make me feel better. Visualization works if you work hard.

What You’ll Need…

You bring an open and positive mind and let me take care of the rest! I will have all the materials you’ll need to create your fabulous Vision Board.  However, you are encouraged to bring any of your own magazines, personal photos, specific images, or other embellishments that you would like to add to your visionary masterpiece.

You do not want to miss this event.  Spread the word and invite your family, friends, and coworkers to join in on the fun!

By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands – your own.

Embrace Autumn

Coorie: So Much More than Hygge

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A little concept called Coorie is helping the cotswolds take over as the happiest place on earth. 

 

Imagine days spent horse riding through open meadows, deep forests and tiny towns lined with thatched roof cottages. Ending the day in layers upon layers of tweed. And finishing your night at a country pub with a  fish and chips and pint to warm you from the inside. Live music and singing add to the good fun.

It’s in our nature to seek out happiness wherever we go.

In Denmark (the happiest country in the world) they have hygge. When the air develops a chill, they look for small comforts to survive the long, cold nights. Like hot cocoa drunk by candlelight, it’s the epitome of coziness.

But the UK has something even better. It’s called Coorie and it doesn’t just draw on aesthetics, it’s rooted in hundreds of years of British history.

The Art of Coorie teaches us how to be happy through simple pleasures.

Coorie is about learning to live better using what is around you.  A coorie way of life practices small, quiet, slow activities by engaging with our surroundings to feel happy. This is easy to do even in California when we can make our homes cozy.

After the heat and light fueled social activity of summertime, our prana softens. Our energy levels decrease, inviting us to slow down and take time to reflect on our experiences and refine our focus for the coming months. Think of it as an end to summer exhale. A grounding down after the higher times of summer and a moment to enjoy the changing colors as we shed what no longer serves us.

The Scots’ word has always meant cuddling up or snuggling in – now it applies to a lifestyle. So how can we achieve coorie?  iI’s all about getting in tune with our surroundings.

Here are some Coorie-filled activities I  bring home with me as we head into fall the holiday season.

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1.     Cook a traditional meal:  Coorie cooking can be a truly special experience. Spend a day in the kitchen with some traditional old recipes. 

 

2.  Bag a munro. Fancy a wee hike? Why not tackle one of the many hikes outdoors wherever we live?

It may sound daunting, but clambering our way to the top will lift our spirits sky high. It’ll be tough. But the act of walking is a meditative one and our sense of satisfaction will only grow when we see those views.

And who could be unhappy on top of a mountain they just climbed?

 

3. Mount a horse and experience the outdoors form above the ground. Horses are amazing animals , just like dogs, they sense our emotions and reflect them back to us. If we are nervous, they get jumpy, but if we take a deep breath and relax we let them know that all is going to be ok. Horse riding is not only thrilling , but helps us stay in touch with our emotions, as we hack out for the day.  it’s a moving mediation.

 

4. Slow down and sit by your fire with a cup of tea, pat a small place on the couch and invite a friend to “coorie in.”   Maybe snuggle in with a good book or old movie!

 

5. Use our hands to make something. 
Knitting, writing, and all crafts help us live a more creative and simple life.

 

6. Decorate our home with an Autumn cozy vibe.We live in a materialistic world, so don’t feel bad about spending  a little to add a few gold or orange  colors and a sheep skin to our décor to give our home a metaphysical aura of warmth.

Why You Should Say "Thanks" When Someone Calls You Selfish

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Doing what someone else wants us to do is slave morality, and a path to disease and disintegration of the spirit and body.

Listen when someone is speaking, not to the words, but to what is talking – it is often pride, malice, or ignorance. For example, when someone tells us that we are selfish, it is often because we are not doing what they want us to do.

After my girls left home to live out their dreams, I felt it was my duty to live out my dreams.

At one point, I remember thinking: Hey, who's going to live out my dreams when I die? But then I realized the answer: No one. It hit me like a slap across the face. Wake up! You had better start living your dreams, because you never know how long you have. What are you waiting for?

As I delved into starting my own business and made joy a priority in both my personal and professional life, it pissed some people off. They accused me of being selfish. And it hurt. A lot.

Recently, talking to a friend I told her... "I don't want to be hurt anymore when people call me selfish."

"Why would you be hurt?" he asked. "You should say thank you."

What???

He went on. "Let's break down the word. Self. Ish. Ish means 'more of,' so being selfish is being more of yourself. Don't you want to be more of yourself?"

"Well, yes."

"Now let's look at selfless. Less means less of yourself. Do you want to be less of yourself?"

"Well, no. No, I don't."

"So, really you should be thanking people for calling you selfish."

I smiled. He was right. The next time someone calls you selfish, say "thank you" and remember these three things:

1. You are here to live out your dreams. You can take being called selfish as proof you are on the right path.

2. You can only effectively help others when your own needs are met first. When you are attending to your own needs, desires and goals in life, it's easier to help others on their own path (this is why airlines insist that you put on your own oxygen mask in the plane first, before assisting others).

3. You will experience greater fulfillment and joy. Because you are living life on your terms, following your dreams and doing what you love, you are going to feel more fulfilled. And chances are you'll feel a lot less anger and jealously toward others, as well as a whole lot more joy.